I Have No Maus, And I Must Scream

Here's how you can run a Mausritter/Harlan Ellison crossover game. It's more of a thought experiment than anything, so don't come tell me how it's broken. We're here to have a bad time.

• Remove all starting equipment. Mice may have a trinket from the bric-a-brac table.
• Give mice an Ironic Punishment based on their background. Take the Hungry condition.
• Use the random room stocking procedures to generate spaces. Roll only Room Types and Treasure, re-rolling whenever "Lair" comes up. Use the Treasure table below.
• Mice cannot escape and cannot kill themselves, but can take damage.
• Last mouse standing is turned into a gelatinous blob by AM.

Ironic punishments

• Test subject. Born here, bred to be AM's plaything. Horribly disfigured. -1 WIL.
• Kitchen forager. Cannot stand the sight of food. WIL save to make yourself eat anything no matter how starved.
• Cage dweller. Deathly afraid of open spaces.
• Hedge witch. Take the Drained condition.
• Leatherworker. Skin is a thick hide. +1 Armor but -2 DEX.
• Street tough. Incapable of violence, even in self-defense.
• Mendicant priest. Worships AM as a God.
• Beetleherd. Compelled to follow. WIL save to negate an order that would put you in danger.
• Ale brewer. Unaffected by chemicals. Can't dull out the pain.
• Fishermouse. Can't swim.
• Blacksmith. Can't stand the heat.
• Wireworker. Carries ball of yarn which they tend to as a beloved pet.
• Woodcutter. Carries the guilt of a thousand felled trees.
• Bat cultist. Hates the light.
• Tin miner. Hates the dark.
• Trash collector. Compulsive groomer.
• Wall rover. No balance.
• Merchant. Convinced everyone is trying to steal from them.
• Raft crew. Cannot cross bodies of water.
• Worm wrangler. Easily grossed-out.
• Sparrow rider. Afraid of heights.
• Sewer guide. Exhudes an unbearable bad smell.
• Prison guard. Bound with iron shackles.
• Fungus farmer. Fungi grow out of old wounds.
• Dam builder. Objects crumble at their touch.
• Cartographer. No sense of direction or spatial memory.
• Trap thief. Klutz. -1 DEX.
• Vagabond. Hate travelling.
• Grain farmer. Plants around you wither and die.
• Message runner. Bones riddled with arthritis.
• Troubador. You have no mouth and you must sing.
• Gambler. Must calculate the odds to everything.
• Sap keeper. Paws stick to objects.
• Bee keeper. Skin blisters at other mice's touch for d4 damage.
• Librarian. Illiterate and barely verbal.
• Pauper noblemouse. Everything touched turns to gold.

Treasure

1-4 Food dispenser, contents long rotted.

5-10 Bowls of edible but disgusting gruel.

11-15 Sipper bottle filled with inebriating goo.

16-18 Pile of fresh nuts, but no nutcracker.

19-20 Stalagtites which can be used as a percing weapon (d6) if detached.