The One Who Stoppeth the Buck

Our dear leader. National alpha dog. Visionary. Charismatic. Sexy beast. The first Reptilian-Earthian President of this great nation. All hail The One Who Stoppeth the Buck, leader in perpetuity, our Lord and Savior. He will spur the sleeping giant awake. History hath ended. Everything is going to be alright forever. Yippee Ki-yay!

The new and improved Pledge of Allegiance (excerpt above) was updated soon after a constitutional amendment was unanimously passed that did away with Presidential term limits and vastly expanded the President's powers. Why waste the taxpayer's time and money (that could go towards corporate tax cuts) on dragged-out, expensive electoral processes that are RIGGED anyways when manifestly-superior beings, our literal makers, have volunteered to guide us? People are fallible. 600-year old reptiles from Alpha Draconis are not.

He takes on the shape of a pretend cowboy right out of central casting: just handsome enough to stir homemakers' loins and just Uncanny Valleyesque enough to be presidential-looking. He is always the perfect embodiment of the spirit of the times, a crystal-clear reflection of the masses' snarling, cowing id. He is the state made fragrant, throbbing flesh, and as he grows in power he will eventually metamorphose into increasingly alarming avatars. From silver-tongued hawk to bumbling oil baron to daytime TV hate crime. But always and forever a free-market knight.

Skill 12
Stamina 32
Initiative 5
Armor 3
Damage as Large Beast or as Weapon
Special:
Once per day, The One Who Stoppeth the Buck can unhinge his jaw to swallow a human-sized creature whole and sate his hunger. On a successful hit, the victim must Test Luck or be swallowed. They lose 1d6 Stamina per hour as long as they're in the belly of the beast, until fully digested.
When The One Who Stoppeth the Buck is reduced to 0 Stamina, a transmitter implanted in his brain is programmed to call out a nuclear strike on its current location. Everyone nearby has a 30-minute window to clear out the area before the bald eagle comes home to roost.
Miens
1 Choleric
2 Burdened
3 Straight-to-the-point
4 Speed-addled
5 Browbeating
6 Genial

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