Hell Is Where The Heart Is

Pioneer!

The Company has given you a once in a lifetime opportunity. To stake your claim on a rugged new world. To bring order to the great black yonder. To make a home for you and your own. Begin anew! Step up to the slipgate and make destiny manifest!

Onward Unto the Breach

When slipgate technology was first discovered, and we happened upon the Hell Dimension, there were some who feared that this would open Earth up for demonic takeover. The discovery that Hell natives cannot go through a slipgate without being annihilated put these fears to rest. The additional discovery of Lapis Infernicus, the long sought answer to the ‘free energy’ question, sealed the deal. Your travails are the scaffolding that shore up our utopia. Now you know!

Paradise Found

You have a great task ahead of you, pioneer. You are the advance party of a mass colonizing movement still in its infancy. You have the sacred honor to be spearheading humankind’s hellward expansion. And thanks to the tireless work of our best scientific minds, it is now a near certainty that within your lifetime we will have full terraforming capability*. It is only a matter of time until Hell is made to be the grandest garden of delights this side of Eden.

It will be up to you to make a safe home for yourself and your co-settlers. Build up your colony’s defenses. Feed and shelter your people. Collect divine relics. Spare no comfort. You deserve the best!

Hell is the Friends We Made Along the Way

It is only natural for newcomers to go through a period of adjustment. The Hell Dimension is a hard place, for hard individuals. Its cataclysmic vistas may feel overwhelming. Endless stretches of abyssal nothing, crimson under an extinction event sky, pockmarked with foci of industrial blight. And it could all be yours! The natives may seem less than welcoming. So far, they have shown less interest in our comings and goings than in their own struggles. And Hell is vast. There is enough space out there for all of us to live in peaceful cohabitation; if not, there's always ways to make them see the light.

Steel your heart, pioneer! In due course, you will learn to appreciate the perverse beauties of your environs. Above all, if you feel like your hold over your eternal soul is slipping, talk to your local chaplain!

*This is not a legally binding statement.